2010
Unbelievers are smart, savvy people. They see the way we treat one another and want no part. No human can sustain the amount of pressure to be righteous in the eyes of their peers. No wonder so many Christians hide their sins until they can’t be hidden any longer. When their sins are finally exposed, these select are treated as less of a human.
Each of us have different sins we struggle with and struggle differently with each sin, however we ALL have sin. Trying to cover them up to be accepted by others is dishonest and won’t last forever. We need to stop shaming one another. We need to start having compassion as humans that struggle and need to repent everyday. God loves the prostitute just as much as He loves Billy Graham.
What drew you to Christ? Was it His grace and love, knowing that your sins could so easily be forgiven in a simple heartfelt prayer? Or was it the thought of some big man in the sky that wants to condemn and pick you apart everyday of your Christian life?
We need to remember the “golden rule”. Treat others, as we would want to be treated. Would you want others to treat you with callousness or compassion? What if they found out your secrets, whether your secrets are that you rarely brush your teeth before bed, or that you struggle with a serious addiction?
The ability to be real and vulnerable with the stains of our life, rather than covering them up is part of what qualifies us to be used by God. How boring and unrealistic would the Bible be, if every story were about only the perfect and righteous? That’s not real. How can we learn from only the perfect, when we are flawed sinful humans that will never arrive at perfection here on this earth?
If nothing else, we need to think of our children and the next generation. According to Barna research, 3 out of 4 youth are leaving the faith shortly after graduating from high school. That is exactly the same time I personally had the first of 2, of what I call my “Crises of Belief”. Many youth are claiming that Christianity has become a whitewashed tomb. Everything looks great on the outside, but on the inside, few are living their faith.
Modeling the faith, having others to look at and identify with, or watch live out the real love of Christ, is what youth are crying out for. In fact, it has been scientifically proven through the Search Institute, that simple attitudes and behaviors in the home, dramatically impact youth’s choice to stay with the faith in the future.
Again, when we use the Righteous Richter to quantify our righteousness, we often excuse ourselves from applying God’s principles to certain areas of our life thinking that we are exempt because of all we “did” to show our righteousness that week. As teachers to our children, we are held to a higher standard, by God to put into practice the things we teach, and admit our shortcomings. It’s never too late to start.
What is sad, after leaving home, youth are experiencing an unconditional love from unbelievers that rivals any Christian. Youth associate other Christian’s love or lack there of, to God. We carry a huge responsibility, not to be perfect, but to be real and show His love after we leave the weekend services. This is often the biggest reason youth leave the faith. God is most often considered among the next generation, a big man in the sky that wants to condemn instead of love.
Many leaders realize that God’s people are longing for authenticity, but even authenticity has a control gauge in some systems. It’s ok to be authentic about “this,” but don’t you dare be authentic about “that.” The word authenticity has been mauled by leaders trying to draw people in, but the meaning is becoming lost. Authenticity is to be real, not our righteous version of realness.
Through my journey, I have finally been able to look people in the eye, for the first time in a very long time. I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t able to before. I think I was afraid that others would see the things that I couldn’t speak of. There is a freedom in knowing I can let others see into my life and not be afraid anymore that I might disappoint them. This has been the best gift I could have ever received.
I had a younger girl tell me recently, that she used to look up to me, but that she no longer could because of the things I said in my article, “Cushy Christianity”. Before, that would have sent me reeling for months. However, I understand that when she was looking up to me, it was probably for the wrong reasons.
I would rather people dislike me for being honest, than love me for a dishonest image of my life. Just as I would rather say no out of love, than yes out of fear. A wise person once told me, you need to stop letting others, “Should on You.” You should do this, you should not do that, etc. I was a nervous wreck all the time trying to do what others thought I should, instead of what God was asking of me. What was being asked of me, had nothing to do with God, but the desires of others. I often felt that my soul was lying and dying, in order to be loved and accepted.
The story of the man that was forgiven a debt he could never repay, but immediately went and threw another man in jail that owed him only a small fraction, comes to mind often. This story speaks of the grace that God gave each of us freely, that none of us deserve. We have taken that grace for granted and give very little to one another. Matthew 18
His love never changes for us. Why does our love and acceptance for God’s people change based on what we think they should or shouldn’t be doing? I hit a toleration point a few years back, and became so sad and angry at hearing story after story of people being talked about and judged by other believers, and even being told that I shouldn’t associate anymore with some of them.
When I voiced these concerns, it didn’t take long for me to be put in the same box with the defectors. I heard a respected leader speak on the topic of control and say, “you can do everything someone asks of you, but the first time you say no, they forget everything you have ever done.”
The part that makes me saddest is that some of those being talked about think they are being accepted at the time, but in reality are being picked apart in private. They think that they are safe, but I have yet to see anyone who really is in this culture. What also makes me extremely sad is that I took part in many of those conversations for years before realizing how destructive it was.
I had to repent.
Righteous Richter Part 2 - “Lying To Be Loved”
2/8/10